I have an admission to make that for some reason seems to be a big taboo among males. I sit down to pee.
I've always had an insecurity about the bathroom, altho not the faintest idea where it comes from. But I make sometimes rediculous efforts to be quite
as possible when I'm in there. I've never understood the "typical" male thing of standing as far away as possible and aiming right for the water (with varying success) in order to make the biggest noise possible.
I also absolutely hate urinals. I hate them.
Given the choice I would always choose a cubicle. I mean, I don't especially want people to be seeing my business or my body-bits. But more than that I think there is nothing more awkward than standing there, one hand on piece, and someone comes and stands next to you.
And if they know you, oh dear god, if they actually try to talk to you!
I was forced to use the urinal at work the other day and my old boss came in and stood next to me. Seriously, there are few things that make me more intensely insecure / anxious than standing there with one hand on my manhood while my employer stands next to me waving his own genitalia around and trying to engage in conversation.
Please, god, just let the earth swallow me now.
Before I get the typical "that's because you're a latent homophobe" or whatever, I assure you that that is not the case. There are just some experiences that I don't want to share with people I don't know very well!
Monday, 12 May 2008
Situations of Social Anxiety - The Urinal
Labels: social anxiety
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11 comments:
I think if I was a guy, yeah, I'd be feeling the same way. But I think most women would say that. I for one, have always wondered about that whole urinal thing and how it can possibly be considered normal to be doing exactly what you described. I strongly suspect though, that there are more men than you'd think who feel this way too. Just a hunch.
hilarious! :) haha, public bathrooms make me nervous also.
here's that shining ability you have to write again. taking something painful and making it funny, i love it.
oh, and ps, i stand when i pee, well more like squat. im not sitting on those nasty public toilets! haha :)
I use the cubical/stand as well, but for in case of robbery. If someone grabs your wallet while your privates are out, you don't want to urinate everywhere as well as you can't run after them with your privates hanging out.
Or someone could push you from behind as a joke, urine going everywhere, what is your recourse?
I on the other hand would stand up to take a shit if I could. I hate burying my arse in some digusting public toilet where you could pick up some nasty disease by rubbing the end of your penis on someone else's deposits, for example.
That said I also try and be quiet when using the toilet normally. I piss on the side of the bowl so that it doesn't splash. But that's only because in my imagination a spiky fish lives in the water and if there's a constant uninterupted flow of piss then it will swim up out of the toilet and into my penis. We all have our quirks.
Have you used urinals whilst drunk? You feel a 100 times more confident whilst drunk.
I hate using public toilets to take a crap not only becuase of the hygiene issue, but also because of the personal/private issue. There;s something way more taboo about taking a crap rather than taking a piss for me. I have only just started using the toilets at work to do this - in school or uni I would usually hold it in all day until I got home. In fact, this was one of my major worries about living in halls, believe it or not. The biggest nightmare about taking a crap in the small work cubicle is if someone you know walks in there, and realise you're taking a crap. There's no way I could physically perform the act so that they hear the plop whilst they are there. I would usually wait until they've gone. Then I imagine that they haven't gone, they've just slamed the door shut, but are still inside waiting to hear me do it. Then when they hear the plob, and possibiliy the farts, they will laugh their arses off and then procede to exit. Hmm.
By the way, Mark p.s, someone has just pushed you or stolen your wallet, and you're worried about pissing on them?!! You have the perfect revenge attack sitting right there in your hand!!}
Roberto.
FINALLY! A male who admits it's weird!
*Lets out a long breath*
I knew it. It's not cool. It's weird. I'm with you (if I was a boy)
It makes sense to me. Homophobic, homofriendly, whatever. I still can't see casually chatting while taking a piss. Though women talk in the bathroom while on the toilet. Perhaps the flimsy walls between us make us feel more comfortable. I had a college professor fixated on bathroom psychology. There are probably case studies on this sorts of things. Things to ponder.
LOL!
I've always wondered about you guys standing next to each other with one hand on your "manhood" while chatting about sports? the weather? very weird if you ask me!
Isn't it just another opportunity for you guys to see who's got what behind the button fly? Come on, I know you peek!
Shiv, if you really want to freak out, cross the pond. In the US, many bars now have talking urinals! When you start pissing, the urinal cake starts asking, in a lovely female voice, if you think you've had too much to drink, or if you are safe to drive, etc... Now that would be a great place for a hidden camera!!
@Etta,
God no, no peeking! I don't think you'd come out alive if you did!
Dear god, I think if I was at a urinal and I started hearing a womans voice, not only would it *completely* put me off (talk about stage fright!!), I think I'd be checking myself into an asylum muttering "There are voices when I pee!"
~Shiv
I dont know what to do. Im a female and I have hated the thought of my boyfriend using a urinal since I was about 16. I hate men and their toilet etiquette, it drives me wild. I could cry right now. How can people actually allow these urinals to be built and think its normal. Its GAY. Its not right. I cant understand any man who would chose to use one. Going out in public is hard for me, because when my partner needs to use the bathroom, I have anxiety attacks and I dont know what to do, I fear the only answer for me is to be single forever, or lesbian. HELP?
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